Belief Systems: The Difference Between Religion and Relationship

Topic: Belief Systems

Our belief systems about the world, life, and our own individual selves begin to develop the moment we come into this world. The very core of our existence is to know who we are. What is our purpose? What were we created for? 


Enduring all the trauma I encountered throughout my life,  I started to believe abuse was my existence. My identity. That being sexually assaulted and abused was what God had created me for. Which made me question His love for me. 


What made me different from the rest? Why was my lot sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal and emotional abuse for over 30 years of my life? What did I do to deserve this?


Often I’d look back over my life and try to analyze my actions and behaviors. What did I do? Or was this the role I was assigned to portray in this life. 


False belief systems that were only pulling me further and further away from the truth.


What Is A Belief System

Traumatic experiences biologically affect our brain chemistry that alters positive thinking and hopefulness. Resulting in the conception of negative thinking and hopelessness. 


However it’s our environment that nurtures these belief systems into life. The environment in which we develop, such as culture and family systems play a tremendous role in how we view ourselves. However it’s religion that has a more embedded deep rooted impact on our belief system of who we are.


A belief system is the adoption of an idea or perspective that something is true. False belief systems are adopted from  traumatizing experiences and toxic dysfunctional environments. 


Most sexually abused or victimized individuals will develop a false belief system from their experience that they were somehow to blame for the incident.  Causing shame and negative feelings about oneself internally. Fueling depression and hopelessness into our psyche.

Religious False Belief Systems

I grew up COGIC. And it wasn’t until I went to college that I learned COGIC wasn’t pure Christianity but a denomination of Christianity. 


A denomination of anything allows for a branch of something to have freedom to conform its own policies and procedures. #ComingFromWhereImFrom we were sinners if we wore pants, shorts, red nail polish, never lied, or didn’t go to church everyday of the week. It was like you had to be selected, proven and chosen to be filled with the holy spirit. Girl chile, somehow the holy spirit was reserved for the saved and sanctified only. Those who never sinned. 


The perception was perfection in order to go to heaven. And if you had a struggle or two in life you were damn for eternal hell. 


Perfectionism itself is a false belief system that drives worry, stress, anxiety, and depression. It also totally contradicts Christianity’s core belief system of salvation.

Relational True Belief Systems

Relationships are built upon connection.  Our connections to one another are based on how we are associated with one another. I am an advocate for all women empowerment and awareness in mental health  no matter the race. However, my mission is driven towards black women due to my association of being a black woman. Knowing first hand the weight of discouragement that comes with being a black woman. And the lack of support and resources when it comes to mental health for black women in our community. 


I have fallen in love with establishing and building my relationship with Christ,  the son of our creator. My relationship with Him encourages a positive belief system that I am loved, not abandoned. That I am heard and validated, not unacknowledged. That I am bought with a price, not unclaimed or unworthy.

Difference Between Religion and Relationship

The difference between religion and relationship is that religion cultivates our soul with false belief systems, lies. While our relationship with Christ cultivates true belief systems of truth and reality. There are three types of lies. Refuge lies, generational lies, and religious lies. 


Refuge lies are falsehoods we adopt to keep from taking accountability for the role we play within a system. Generational lies are lies that are passed down from generation to generation. We can equate this to slave mentality. Religious lies, which is also considered the hardest lie to break, are lies established on rituals and traditions to support the autonomous policies, procedures, and mindsets of the system. 


Join me lady in building a truthful relationship with Christ to battle the false belief systems we have adopted from traumatic experiences and toxic environments. We may not be perfect, but we are definitely CHOSEN.

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