Daddy's Girl

Topic: The Position Every Girl Wants to play

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Growing up, most little girls aspired to be mommies, teachers, singers, and wives. At the same time, little boys aspired to be police officers, firemen, or military. Me? I wanted to be a daddy’s girl. In my mind girls who were daddy’s girls had a special light that beamed on them. That light transcended that she was valued, protected, loved, and adored. I desired to be a daddy’s girl so badly, that I would even dream about being one. In my mind, a daddy’s girl was the position every girl wanted to play if they weren’t already playing it.

Daddy's Girl

I overstand why Chrisean Rock calls Blueface “daddy”. He’s given her all the things her biological dad seems to have neglected to give her. Her biological dad didn’t give her the attention, the spotlight she deserved. Blueface did. He didn’t provide for her. Blueface did. He didn’t protect her. Blueface did. He didn’t prove to her he loved her. Blueface did. Nor did he show her how much he adores her. Blueface did. I’m not condoning the unhealthy or toxic behaviors and mindsets at all, however no matter NONE of that-Blueface has been all those things to her. More specifically to the little girl in her. 

 

I overstand because I am Chrisean Rock and Frog is my Blueface. I met Frog when I was 26. Freshly out of an abusive marriage, I was trying to find me. In finding me I ended up on a lot of dance floors. The night we met I was leaving a nightclub. The place was packed because there was a special event. I was annoyed with the crowd so we literally walked straight through the club from one end to the other, upstairs then back down, and out the door. I paid to get in, I was going to at least assess the scene.

 

 

Love at first, "these bitches"

While waiting for valet I hear in the distance, “Aint nobody gone holla at these b!tches? Yall n!ggas scared to holla at these b!tches.” The laughs and taunts continued as the heckler’s voice got louder. I felt an arm reach behind my back. As I turn to the right of me I feel him secure my waist with his hand. Holding his cell phone in front of me I can feel the vibrations of his tone gently whispering, “You look absolutely amazing tonight. I would love to be able to call you so I can take you out to dinner.”

 

How TF did I end up here? I was just pinned up like a rollie pollie ready to give this dude the business if he even tried approaching me. But here I am. In his arm. The scent of his cologne seducing my brain cells while the growl in his voice is soothing my willingness to stay.

Crazy In Love

Frog became my fairytale in a nightmare. He was everything I could ever want. But he was also then some. He was everything I could ever want and then some. And that then some was the nightmare. The disrespect was appalling. N!gga kept a chick somewhere. But what he did provide and what he did cover was more than any other man had done in my life since my grandfather.  He was my knight in shining armor. He desired everything I was trained to fulfill and fed all facets of me. The good and the bad. He knew me because he was me. What was all the more alluring was that he wanted me to be daddy’s girl. The position every girl wants to play.

 

Because of him providing more than what I ever got, mentally he took on the daddy role to my inner little girl. Emotionally I connected with him because of what I was already emotionally familiar with. A sexist misogynistic biological dad. Of course, I’d find familiarity in a sexist misogynistic psychological dad. And of course, if that sexist misogynistic psychological dad is also meeting needs that I lacked early in life while knocking me down; the connection is going to be dangerously deep. And in most cases toxic AF.

Thug Therapy aims to bring you relatable content aimed to awaken awareness about mental health and spark conversations about mental health in the black community. The contents of Thug Therapy Lifestyle Blog website, such as text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the Thug Therapy Lifestyle Blog website (“content”) are for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the Thug Therapy Lifestyle Blog website. The one thing we have learned in our journey to wellness and wholeness is just as we all are different, so will our treatment plans. Thug Therapy Lifestyle Blog is meant to provide a peek into the reality of someone living with depression and cptsd.

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