Youtuber, podcaster, and mentor to hundreds of thousands of black men, Kevin Samuels, died last week. Kevin Samuels became famous in the black community for his delivery of “scolding” black women with what his followers deem as simple bluntness. However, per mental health professionals and doctors alike, what Kevin Samuels was doing was emotionally and mentally abusing these women.
Abuse in the black community is higher in almost all areas of any form of abuse. Black children are more likely to be abused than white children. Assault against black women in intimate partner relationships is higher than any other race. Homicide against black women in intimate partner relationships is higher than in any other race. Black and Native American woman are practically neck and neck when it comes to rates of sexual assault and rape cases. I literally can go on.
Slavery planted the seed of abuse and its effects in the bloodline of many African Americans. Belief systems were adapted based on the experiences of slavery which has shaped black culture’s perspective of family, relationships, parenting, and community.
Abuse has become normalized in the black community because abuse is rarely if ever, made to face the consequences. From black women not reporting domestic violent acts to authorities against their partners. To the rallying support of repeated sexual offenders. Abuse has been protected within the walls of the black community for generations. Used as a means to protect one another from what most consider a racist system.
With every excuse used to protect abuse in the black community, the primary reason is America’s systems. Black women don’t report domestic abuse because the judicial system is more likely to try and lock up their black men for life. Not rehabilitation for the benefit of the family system, but for the financial gain of its nation. Black families don’t report child abuse of the parents, because black kids are more likely to become a product of America’s foster care system. Not for the rebuilding of the family, but for the financial gain of America, as a nation.
American slavery was so diabolical being that it adopted a premeditated planned attack on an entire race of people that God created. To purposefully distort the true belief system of Love, and replace with the adoption of societal worthiness, cruelty, and punishment.
It was not only Kevin Samuels tone but also his message that beckoned the voice of oppression. He used his platform and his voice to tell LOVE, who it was. His every word went against the very essence of God; Love, Grace, & Mercy. Instead, he fed hopelessness and death into the core of women who were already generations deep in pain and despair.
Emotional abuse is a form of psychological abuse that has life-impacting outcomes such as depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and PTSD. What makes emotional abuse so damaging is that it harms the innermost part of you. Your core. Your you.
Our belief system is the God in us. It is the sole factor that what we believe in is what we get out of life.
When our belief systems are shaped by our experiences, it changes what our true-self, what the God in us says about us. The God in us says that we are beautifully and wonderfully made. But the outside world says that we have no value or are valued less because of what we’ve been through.
What the world says, becomes our god because our focus is to prove that we are not that despite. Trying to live up to societal standards takes our focus off of who our creator, our truth and light, says about us. Taking us further away from the truth, and listening more closely to the lies.
It doesn’t matter if you are a Christian, Buddhist, Universist, and so on… the one thing that remains true across the board is whatever you sow, you shall reap. Some say life and death are in the power of the tongue. Others call it Karma. And you have those that say, what you put out into the universe you will get back. Whichever way you put it, you get back what you put out.
“But those women chose to sit and talk to him.” My response, to put it simply, is that he was a place of familiarity for them. Emotional abuse has been used against women since the beginning. What makes it so detrimental for the black woman is that she isn’t aware that it’s abuse because it’s embedded in her DNA. It’s her normal. Being auctioned, being appraised, being devalued, being objectified. It’s what she has become accustomed to. It has become her resistance to perseverance.
If life and death are in the power of the tongue, can you only imagine just how powerful the mind must be to have had the thought to say it? Kevin Samuels rose to popularity as the voice for a group of black men who were wanting to feel heard. And quickly became their voice to countless vulnerable black women who sought validation and love of black men. To be short, he was the leader of hurt people who hurt people.
Kevin Samuel’s message and delivery were interfering with what God intended to come into this world. We all add something to His divine plan. As men, they plant the seed for life. As women, they incubate, nurture, and bring that life into the world.
In order for us to be fruitful, it must come from healthy seeds and soil. The black community is still battling the traumas of slavery and Jim Crow. Kevin Samuels used his platform to reinforce the belief systems that were developed from the experiences of both in black women.
Emotional abuse is treatable. I thoroughly believe in the theory that, you can’t heal in the same environment that hurt you. The timing of the YouTuber’s death as he was gaining more influence and access to a broader platform, qualifies so many scriptures. Without a shadow of a doubt, he and his followers were continuing the life cycle of emotional abuse of black women and black children. Could it be that God saw fit for the healing of both black women and men to start before it’s too late?
Click here to take a short quiz and find out if you are in or have been in an emotionally abusive relationship.
FASTell Girl Model2Mentor Programs’ is federally recognized 501c3 nonprofit. The organization’s mission is to equip adolescent girls with behavior management skills to ACCESS a higher quality of life. Suicide rates in adolescent girls have been increasing drastically since approximately 2011. Professionals don’t necessarily know why rates are increasing so fast, however, they do contribute to the increasing numbers of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation (hopelessness) to the rise in cases.
It is the belief of FASTell Girl that equipping these young ladies with healthy social-emotional learning and mentorship, gives them hope beyond what Adverse Childhood Experiences have shaped their belief system about their lives and themselves.
Join FASTell Girl Model2Mentor Program on Saturday, September 10, 2022, as we host our first annual virtual Walk-A-Thon to raise money for our fall 2022 and spring 2023 cycles.
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