Warning: This blog post involves descriptions and discussions of sexual assault
Victim blaming hit the airwaves of radio with no consequences. This morning I was listening to a syndicated hip hop morning radio show here in Dallas. One of the personalities announced a sexual assault claim a young woman made against activist, Jesse Jackson. After that, the personality then asked the question, “Why do these women wait until years later to say something?” In addition to her insensitive remarks and questions, she then suggested if it hasn’t happened in the last two years women shouldn’t say anything. To make her comments even more disheartening she states, ” because no one wants to hear about it.”
One thing the culture is going to do is point the finger and shame when it comes to women being victimized. Rather it’s the way she was dressed, her past sexual encounters, or that she was a prissy little girl, there will be cause to question.
As a result, people who have been sexually assaulted don’t speak up. Some, fear they won’t be believed and no one is going to listen. Especially when the accused holds a certain title like dad, uncle, your mama boyfriend, pastor, teacher, politician, CEO, boyfriend, or husband.
“Despite the increase in self-reports of rape and sexual assault, there was a decrease in reporting to police from 2017 to 2018. Forty-percent (40%) of rapes and sexual assaults were reported to police in 2017, but only about 25% were reported to police in 2018,” according to National Sexual Violence Resource Center.
Analyst don’t believe this is because cases have decreased but rather the number of people willing to go through what they would have to go through in doing so.
Bill Cosby made jokes about drugging and raping women. However, not that people believe he is incapable of the crimes but because he is a black man, played Cliff Huxtable, and of a certain age his behavior is excused. On top of his behaviors being excused it’s the victims that everyone attacks. “Why did they wait so long to say something.” Then there’s R. Kelly. Almost the entire city of Chicago and black music industry heard of or knew he was sleeping with little girls. Although his acquaintances are validating the victims story, over and over again comments beneath the blogs read, “Isn’t she the one that lied about her age though? Wasn’t she fanning him first?” Completely excusing his behavior because he wrote Step in the Name of Love.
For centuries black girls have been devalued to only being necessary for the sexual pleasure of men. It’s already traumatic being used as a sexual escapade by men who own you as property. But it’s a whole other level of trauma when your abuser looks like you. “She is so dramatic. All that girl do is lie.” So many young black girls are hurting black women today because their pain was never acknowledge or validated. Growing up in an environment feeling unsafe and unloved. Just to live in a society seeking love, validation, and security. Finding her identity in the things she do and the men she do. “Sit down somewhere. With your fast ass.”
It’s against my will. I’m begging and crying for him to stop. The sex was so violent I could barely walk for days and it hurt to pee. Tormented and confused for years about what happened. Finally I get the nerve to say “You raped me.” Only to be silenced again with “How could I have raped you and we’re married?” Having to live with believing I had no right for justice from what happened to me because I signed up for it. I signed a marriage decree.
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